Work, school and daily life with a stoma

Returning to work

Most ostomates return to their previous work. Recovery time depends on the surgery and on how physical the job is. Heavy lifting needs discussion with your surgeon, because it raises the risk of a hernia around the stoma.

You are not obliged to tell colleagues. It helps to identify a private place to change or empty a pouch, and to keep a small kit at work with a spare pouch, a bag for waste and wipes or cloth.

Children at school

Children with stomas do attend school normally. It usually works best when one trusted teacher or the school nurse knows, can allow discreet toilet access without questions, and keeps a spare pouch safely.

Bullying is a real risk, and it is worth agreeing with the school in advance how it will be handled. Children often manage their own care earlier than parents expect, with practice and encouragement.

Clothing

Ordinary clothing works. Most people find that clothes which sit above or below the stoma, rather than pressing a waistband directly on it, are most comfortable. Patterned fabric hides the outline better than tight plain fabric. Wraps and looser traditional clothing work well.

Travel

• Carry more supplies than you expect to need, and split them between bags
• Keep supplies in hand luggage when flying, never only in checked bags
• Take pre cut pouches when travelling so you do not need scissors
• Carry a supply of drinking water, especially with an ileostomy
• Know that heat and humidity can shorten how long an adhesive lasts

Relationships and intimacy

Concerns about intimacy are common and rarely discussed. Emptying the pouch beforehand, using a smaller or opaque pouch, or a wrap or belt, helps many people feel more confident.

Talking to a partner honestly is usually less difficult than expected. Counselling is available through ZOST for people who find this hard, and peer meetings are often where the most useful advice is shared.

The emotional side

Sadness, anger and grief after surgery are normal. Many ostomates describe feeling isolated, especially where stigma is present. These feelings usually ease with time, information and contact with other ostomates.

If low mood persists, affects sleep and appetite, or brings thoughts of self harm, that needs proper support. Speak to a health professional, and contact us so we can connect you with our volunteer counsellor.